7 Ways to Help Your Child Manage Stress

 

New year, new school, new opportunities for growth! Read our article as we share some tried and true tips for parents and children in the lead up to the first day of primary school.

A Whole New World Awaits

New classmates, new teachers, new school environment — your child’s tiny world is about to get a lot bigger. With these changes come opportunities for personal, social and cognitive growth.

The Countdown And Preparation Begins

In these weeks as you count down to your child’s first day of school, you may be wondering, “What will school be like for my child? Will my child be able to cope in the new environment?”

Parents can help by being proactive — research from professionals at Duke University suggests that establishing a strong communication channel with your child’s teachers helps and so does monitoring changes in your child's behaviour or mood when he or she first starts school.

Whether at home or in school, we’ve got some great tips for every stage of preparation that will help you (and your child) pave a smooth journey towards the new school term in January.

1. Create A Routine That Works

Studies have shown that routines help children feel safe and secure. Set up a routine that works for your child — whether it’s a shower before dinner or an afternoon snack before naptime, it’s important that your child gets into a routine that he or she is comfortable with. 

2. Identify Friendly Figures In School

Helping your child identify teachers or staff he or she can go to for assistance is important. When your child recognises trustworthy figures of authority, he or she will feel more secure in the new environment.

Related Article: Gear Up For Primary 1

3. Prepare An 'Emergency' Fund

You may want to consider setting aside an “emergency fund” for your child. Placing extra money in a separate wallet or purse to be kept in his or her school bag means that your child will still have access to money if he or she misplaces pocket money. However, you should set some strict rules about when this money can be used.

4. Test Out That Transport Route

It may be a good idea to have a few dry runs of your child’s journey to and from school to help your child familiarise himself or herself with the route. Help your child identify key landmarks and remember the specific place where he or she will be dropped off or picked up from everyday.

Related Article: Raising A Responsible Child

5. Set Mini Goals To Achieve Together

Help to make the experience seem less daunting by setting mini goals for the first day of school. Start with small tasks like “Leave the house on time” or “Remember to bring my water bottle home” or “Meet one new friend in class today”. These mini goals give your child something to look forward to on his or her first day of school!

Download Our Special Guide To Surviving And Thriving In Primary 1

The Learning Lab would like to extend our help as you and your child are preparing for Primary 1 and the new adventures that lie ahead. Download our fun and informative guide filled with 25 great tips to help your child survive and thrive in Primary 1!

 

Like adults, children also get stressed out from time to time. However, the causes of stress for children may differ from adults.

Common root causes of stress in children can include changes to their body, changes in their environment, learning about their identity, and learning about responsibilities and consequences. Feelings of separation or abandonment and feelings of insecurity or vulnerability may put a strain on children too.

As your child goes to school, these feelings can be magnified with the extra work load and large amount of information that they have to take in on a daily basis.


When children are not emotionally supported, reactions to stress can be unhealthy and damaging for their future. They may also struggle academically. This is why it is important for parents to look out for any signs of distress in their children, so that they can help manage it as early as possible.

Adults often forget to view children’s emotions through a developmental lens. Knowing that children may struggle to manage intense emotions is one thing — holding onto that understanding when a child is ‘overreacting’ (from an adult lens) is another.


Through your compassion, patience and guidance, your son or daughter will develop the skills needed to manage stress to become an independent learner.

Here are 7 tips to help you nurture your relationship with your child while supporting his or her emotional intelligence.

 

1. Make Healthy Lifestyle Choices Enjoyable


Your child will be able to handle stress better when he or she is as healthy as possible, so eating nutritiously is a good defence against stress.

A healthy diet builds a solid, more enduring foundation for your child's body which can help him or her tackle more challenging situations with a clear and alert mind and more energy.


However, “healthy” isn’t a word children resonate with. Instead of simply telling your child that eating healthy will reduce stress, you can encourage a healthy diet by infusing the idea of enjoyment with some fun facts and activities.

For instance, instead of saying, “Eat your vegetables so you can be healthy,” you could say: “Guess what I learned today? I learned that broccoli can prevent cancer! It even protects the skin and improves eyesight.”

Sharing what you've learned makes your child eager to learn too.

If you are trying to substitute sugary snacks with fruits for your child, you may consider making smoothies with your child and allowing him or her to mix and match different fruits. You can even opt for a full-blown activity where you arrange fruits into fun shapes on a platter together with your child.

A healthy lifestyle that includes balanced nutrition and physical activities not only boosts your child’s immune system; it also supports his or her mental and emotional stability.

 

2. Introduce Balance in Timekeeping


When your child is able to manage his or her time wisely, he or she will feel in control of his or her life. This can make your child calmer and less stressed overall as a result.

Stress management and time management go hand in hand. Waiting until the last minute to complete a task, chore or homework can cause stress.


Time management is important, but frankly, it sounds like such a serious and boring word to a child. The word “time management” does not appeal to children and they may not be interested in learning something that may come across seemingly rigid and inflexible.

A fun way of introducing time management to your child and getting  him or her into the habit of establishing personal routines is through an activity chart which sounds more fun and positive.

In this activity chart, you can use colour codes and stickers to mark timeframes. For example, blue for study time, green for household chores, yellow for playtime, and so forth.

Time management is important because it gives your child an overview of his or her personal organisation. It also prevents your child from getting overwhelmed too easily.

When your child is done with a particular activity, you can paste a cute sticker over the colour coded bar, which can give him or her a sense of pride and fulfilment.

Be sure to cut down on screen time and reduce the use of digital devices, which often leads to distractions and demotivation.

 

3. Focus on the Learning Process, Not the Outcome

 

Relieve your child from the unnecessary pressure of stellar academic performance and remind him or her that learning is much more valuable than the results. 

Naturally, as your child becomes a better learner, the academic outcome also improves. Doing it in a roundabout way by pushing for the outcome is counterproductive.

 

A study by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) — an intergovernmental economic organisation with 36 member countries, reveals that 66% of students across all OECD countries said they were worried about poor grades at school; in Singapore, that number rises to an alarming 86%.

Don’t let your young learner become part of that statistic. Striving for perfection takes away the joy of learning and joy is a much more powerful motivator than pressure or fear of failure.

Here at The Learning Lab, we encourage students to enjoy the learning process and learn from their mistakes. You can reinforce these values from home through these tips in our blog article:

Learning From Mistakes: How To Motivate Your Child To See The Good Side Of Making Mistakes

 

4. Encourage Clever Ways to Study for Exams


The exam period is a time of high pressure for students who expect themselves to score well. On top of the anxiety to ace the exams, students also face a lot of pressure with the huge quantity of revision which requires them to process more information than usual.


Coming up with an exam strategy can empower your child and give him or her the confidence to take on exam stress. Being calm is key since panic can cloud judgement and consequently lead to poor exam results. 

Time awareness is also useful, so that your child does not end up overthinking exam questions or rushing through them either.

It is vital for your child to learn how to study smart — whether for an exam or when learning new skills. Studying smart involves being calm but efficient when processing new information.

Some clever strategies for studying smart involves using colourful shapes, tables, charts, mind maps and flashcards to help with your child’s attention and memory.

Studying in short bursts with frequents breaks also helps ease the tension and allows your child's brain to take a rest so that he or she can absorb information better.

For a comprehensive list of tips on how to plan an exam strategy for your child, read about it here:

How To Prepare Your Child For An Upcoming Test

 

5. Avoid Comparing Your Child to Other Children


Childhood is a sensitive time for confidence building and comparison skews that confidence when the child feels inferior to another. 

At home, comparing siblings creates an unhealthy rivalry that could affect their emotional intelligence through their adult lives.


Instead of saying, “You always do your homework diligently, unlike your brother,” tell your child: “Wow! I appreciate that you did your homework.”

Omit the words “always” and “never” in your statements. They send a subliminal message that there is no room for change or improvement.

Instead of saying “Why can’t you be neat and tidy like so-and-so?”, lay the message gently by placing a positive image to your request: “Your shirt looks dirty. You would look and feel better in a clean one.”

We have more tips on how you can create an emotionally safe and loving environment for your young learner here:

5 Ways To Build Your Child's Confidence, Positivity And Individuality

 

6. Be Aware of Your Language and Tone When Discussing Exams


Don’t let your child retreat further in his or her shell by raising your voice or showing your frustration when discussing exams.

Create a safe emotional space for him or her by expressing support and understanding, whatever the context of the conversation.


If you need to be stern, express your message calmly and clearly so nothing is lost in translation and so that your child may respect and admire your own emotional intelligence.

Also, allow your child to communicate his or her own feelings toward the matter. In this way, you are aware of what he or she is going through and you can build towards a healthier and more trusting relationship.

This will prove beneficial in the long run, as your child can focus on studying for future exams without the thought of your disapproval weighing on his or her mind and stressing him or her out.

 

7. Invite and Practise Gratitude


In times of stress, it is important to be able to look at the positive side of things. If your child failed an exam, you can help him or her see this as a lesson where he or she can learn from the mistakes made and be grateful for the opportunity to do better next time.

If your child hurts someone, you can remind him or her that there is an option to apologise and be grateful for the opportunity to behave better in the future. 


Remind your child that while consequences are real and that they can be tough, nothing is final and there are ways to find peace in the situation.

Gratitude teaches responsibility for the actions made, rather than being poisoned by guilt or regret. Gratitude also helps your child refocus his or her thoughts and not dwell on the negative, which can very well lead to depression.

 

Alleviate Stress in Your Child’s Learning Journey


We hope that the above tips can help you develop a more loving relationship with your child, and help him or her develop healthy and positive coping mechanisms for stress.

By helping your child manage the stresses of everyday life, you are providing a loving and nurturing environment that can boost his or her emotional intelligence and confidence towards taking on demanding tasks.


At The Learning Lab, our teachers are as equally committed to providing a nurturing and well-rounded learning experience for our students.

We manage our students’ stress levels by allowing them to build on their confidence, positivity and individuality through classes that encourage them to work, think, act and even play independently.

Another way we alleviate stress in our students' academic journey is by ensuring they are always one step ahead and well-prepared to tackle any challenges that may come their way.

Click here to find out more about how you can equip your child to excel in school.

 

 

The Learning Lab is now at 8 locations. Find a location that suits your needs.

If you have any questions about our programmes, please email us at enquiry@thelearninglab.com.sg or call us at 6733 8711 and we will be happy to assist you.


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